Analyzing The Grief of Naomi in The Book of Ruth Dunamis: Jurnal Teologi dan Pendidikan Kristiani

This article analyzed the grief of Naomi in the book of Ruth by using the six stages of grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler. Although Naomi could be an inadequate model in dealing with her grief, her attitude resonates with many people in dealing with their griefs. It makes this study is noteworthy. This article analyzed how Naomi dealt with her grief in the six stages of grief, namely: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and finding the meaning and then take the implication for the ministry during the pandemic of Covid-19. The study showed that anger and depression are visible in the story of Naomi. Acceptance is not explicit. There is no denial, bargaining, and finding the meaning stages in Naomi’s grief. She was still struggling with her grief, although she could accept the new situation with the marriage of Ruth and Boaz and the birth of Obed. Today many people struggle with grief during this pandemic. Therefore, it is essential to pay attention to vaccines and medication and notice the need for psychological help and therapy for the bereaved families.


INTRODUCTION
During pandemic Covid-19, many peoples experienced the death of their loved ones, such as family members, friends, colleagues, etc. So naturally, the death of a loved one causes grief. Furthermore, Covid-19 death victims exemplify "bad deaths." 1 "Bad deaths" initiate devastation dan complicated grief, particularly for bereaved kin, Dealing with grief is very personal, but we can learn from others. This article describes the story of Naomi, who experienced multiple losses, and analyzes her in dealing with her grief. Although Naomi 1 "Bad" deaths mark physical discomfort, social isolation, psychological distress, being treated without respect or dignity. Deborah Carr, Kathrin Boerner, and Sara Moorman, "Bereavement in the Time of Coronavirus: Unprecedented Challenges Demand Novel Interventions," Journal of Aging and Social Policy 32, no. 4-5 (2020): 425-431, https://doi.org/10.1080/08959420.2020.1764320. 2 Ibid., 425-427. 3 Charlotte Donlon, "A Lonely Grief," Christian Century, 2020. could be an inadequate model in dealing with her grief, her attitude resonates with many peoples in dealing with their griefs.
Therefore, it makes this study is noteworthy.
Naomi is one of the main characters in the book of Ruth, besides Ruth and Boaz.
She was frequently compared and contrasted to Ruth. Savran writes that the book of Ruth describes the relationship between Naomi and Ruth on very favorable terms. 4 Both women portrayed the role of women in the patriarchal society. He highlights Ruth's assertiveness, loyalty to Naomi, and her determination to seek out food for herself and her mother-in-law. On the other hand, he also represents the positive and supportive attitude of Naomi to her daughters-in-law. Naomi was the symbol of a woman who experienced enervated despair and seemed unable to control her fortune, but she tried to survive in the face of tragedy. 5 Yong Lu writes about the lead characters of Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz. 6

RESEARCH METHOD
This article aimed to examine the story of Naomi in the book of Ruth. This article will apply the narrative analysis by  Ibid.,11. 18 Ibid., Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler, On Grief and Grieving, Scribner (New York, 2015); David Kessler, Finding Meaning. The Sixth Stage of Grief (New York: Scribner, 2019). 20 Kübler-Ross and Kessler,On Grief and Grieving, the help of psychology, especially the psychology of loss and grief. This study will enrich the study of Naomi as one of the main characters in the book of Ruth and help many peoples understand and deal with their grief.

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David
Kessler describe five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. 20 These five stages are tools in framing and identifying the feeling of grief, and not everyone has to go through these stages or in a prescribed order. 21 Denial is not the denial of actual loss but the feeling that the loss is too much for his or her psyche. This is the psyche's protective mechanism. 22 This is the notion of shock and disbelief that the loss has happened. 23 Anger is angry with the reality that someone we love is no longer here. 24  Kessler writes another book to complement the five stages of grief. The sixth stage of grief is to find meaning. 31 He argues that the five stages of grief are not final. He adds one more stage which is essential for the healing process, namely finding the meaning. In this sixth stage, the grief will decrease in intensity over time.
Although the grief may never end, this stage will allow someone to alter grief into something precious and gratifying. 32 Someone who can discover the meaning tends to have a much easier time grieving than who is not. with the grief of Naomi. These stages are not in sequence, chronological or consecutive. It means that the stage of denial is not the first stage, or the stage of anger is not the second stage, and so on. It also does not propose that Naomi should go through all stages in dealing with her grief. There are many different stages in framing Naomi's grief in Ruth chapter 2.

Six Stages of Grief
We did not see the anger of Naomi, but we could detect the passiveness of Naomi.
Naomi's silence may be read as an expression of her condition, as resignation and great sorrow. 59 Is it a sign of her depression?
The stage of depression causes someone to withdraw from life and ignore daily activities. 60 After losing the loved one, depression is a normal and appropriate response. 61 Depression is one of the many crucial stages of healing. When someone allows herself or himself, it will leave as soon as it has served its purpose in the process of healing. It makes someone rebuild himself or herself from the ground up. Depression is normal for someone who experiences sadness. Ruth followed Naomi's plan and had an opportunity to ask Boaz about her redeeming. Boaz had an interest in Ruth, but he knew that he was not first in line to redeem Ruth. Therefore, he asked Rut to wait for his action in handling this matter. After Ruth returning from the threshing floor, Naomi asked Ruth about the result of that meeting.
Then she advised Ruth to wait for Boaz's action. Thus, we can conclude that the narrator describes that at the beginning and the end of Ruth chapter 3, Naomi was very active in scheming the encounter between Ruth and Boaz.

Ruth chapter 3 represents the vital role of Naomi in encountering Ruth and
Boaz. It appears that Naomi did not look at the stage of depression again. It seems that Naomi has accepted the loss and arranged the plan for her daughters-in-law. They should continue their lives. At the acceptance stage, someone starts continuing the journey of life and making new connections or new meaningful relationships. Someone begins to live again, but they cannot do so until they have given grief its time. 69 Naomi was very active. She did not show her anger or depression again. Instead, she tried to help Rut for having a better life. 69 Kübler-Ross and Kessler,On Grief and Grieving,[23][24][25] Block,Ruth. Zondervan Exegetical Commentary on the Old Testament,234. 71 This is the only record in the Bible that describes the love of daughter-in-law for her mother-in-law.
Ruth chapter 4 tells how Boaz dealt with his will to redeem Ruth. Boaz, who was not first in line to redeem Ruth, decided to talk with another nameless kinsman-redeemer nearer to Elimelech than himself.
Boaz assembled ten of the elders and the unnamed kinsman-redeemer at the city gate to discuss these issues. Finally, Boaz had the right to redeem Ruth because the unnamed kinsman-redeemer could not fulfill his obligation. Boaz married Ruth, and they had a son. To see this matter, the women of Bethlehem responded with a spontaneous outburst of praise to God for restoring Naomi, a prayer for the baby, and encouragement for Naomi. 70 They also applauded Ruth, who was considered better than seven sons. Naomi's condition was that she was still in grief, but she could accept this new and better situation in silence.

Implications for Today's Situation
Naomi lived in the old days when there was no psychologist or psychiatrist.
She had to deal with her grief in her way.
We can conclude that she was still struggleing with her grief, although she could accept the new situation with the marriage of Ruth and Boaz and the birth of Obed. We could not blame her because she could pass the final stages of grief, namely finding the meaning from her multiple losses.
The current situation is very different. Psychology is common in society. There are many psychologists, therapists, and 79 Reggie Williams, "Unfathomable Loss," Christian Century, 2020, 25. psychiatrists. This condition can help peoples better in dealing with their grief and loss. The pandemic Covid-19 causes many deaths and griefs. We need to grieve. There is no right way to grieve, but we need to grieve. 79 The six stages of grief can give guidance in the grieving process. Many factors influence someone to deal with and overcome grief. Some people can walk through these six stages. However, some people cannot surpass all of them. Some peoples still deny the existence of Covid-19 and the victims. Some peoples are angry with the situation, the government, or the origin country of the Covid-19. Some people felt depressed because of the losses.
Some people are still difficult to accept the losses. So, in handling the pandemic of Covid-19, peoples do not need only vaccines and medicine, but also psychological assistance for the peoples in dealing with the loss and the grief. To ignore the psychological problem of loss and grief can cause humanity problems in the future.

CONCLUSION
The six stages of grief help us to understand how people deal with their losses and grief. By analyzing Naomi's grief based on Ruth's book, we can conclude that Naomi did not surpass these six stages. We only can find the stage of anger, depression, and silent acceptance. Naomi was not flawless in dealing with her grief, but God still could act good things by uniting Ruth and Boaz and bestowing Obed. Naomi was indeed the imperfect model, but her attitude resonates with many peoples in dealing with their griefs. Many people struggle with grief because they lost family members, friends, and colleagues during this pandemic. We need to take notice of the importance of psychological help and therapy for bereaved families.